Alphabet Soup: Cutting Edge
by Windfighter
Summary: The crew is hanging around the pickup-point when Mikkel notices Emil missing for dinner. He leaves the group to search for the younger crew member and finds him deep in thought inside a building.


And I have returned with the third story for the Alphabet Soup Challenge, and this time I tried writing a story from Mikkel's point of view! I feel like I don't know Mikkel enough to do this but I got an idea and then I had to do it and then this happened!

So yes, more Emil-torture! Well, I did say that I was going to figure out 70-something ways to kill Emil when I accepted this challenge. So far he's survived all my attempts though!

 **Warnings:** Self-harm, mmmmaybe implied abuse? I'm not sure how clear it is (I mean it's perfectly clear for _me_ but...) Generic warning about weird english. Also food. There's some food down there.

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Emil was missing, Mikkel noted as he was giving everyone a bowl of food. He frowned slightly, but did not say anything. It was most likely nothing and it was unnecessary to worry the others about it. He walked around the tank to see if he could spot the other but failed to do so and returned to eat together with the rest of the crew members. Most of them at least, Tuuri was sleeping in the driver's cabin of the car, her fever getting worse with each passing hour. Mikkel let out a sigh, maybe it was time to start considering if they should administer the unfinished cure they had found. They needed to reach a decision in a few days.

But right now, his main concern was Emil. Emil never missed a meal, nor the chance to complain about Mikkel's cooking. Mikkel gathered the bowls again as the others finished their meals, put Reynir on the task of taking care of the dishes and then left to, as he told Sigrun, stretch his legs. He walked closer to the shoreline, put his hands to his sides and looked out over the water. Five more days until the boat arrived. He kicked a rock and watched it roll into the water. He was just as ready to get out of here as Sigrun was, but what would happen with their sick colleague? Mikkel let out a sigh.

A noise from the building next to Mikkel made him tense up. The area was clear of trolls, Sigrun and Emil had made sure of that, so then it must be... Mikkel went to the building, entered through the broken entrance and looked around inside the hallway.

"Emil?"

Emil was sitting on a pile of wood and stone, leaning against the wall and looking out through the window. Mikkel walked closer, stepped carefully to avoid stumbling over broken parts of what had been the ceiling 90 years earlier.

"Emil?" he tried again when he came closer.

Emil stirred, tensed up and dropped something. Mikkel heard the sound of glass breaking and Emil closed his eyes and bit his lip.

"What are you doing in here?" Mikkel asked.

Emil opened his eyes again, looked at his boots for a moment before looking towards Mikkel. The smile on his lips was forced, Mikkel could tell.

"I'm just... We're going home."

The youngling looked through the window again and Mikkel walked closer.

"We're really going home."

"We will be going to Iceland first, but yes, after we have been through the quarantine and made our report to the Nordic Council, then we will be allowed to return to our respective homes."

He sat down next to Emil and Emil fiddled a little with his sleeves. Mikkel noticed one of them being slightly red.

"Home..." Emil muttered.

Emil did not sound thrilled at the thought of being allowed to return home and Mikkel looked at him. His eyes were distant and his face was slightly pale.

"Are you feeling quite alright?"

"Yeah, it's just... I just... We're actually going to return."

"Did you doubt we would?"

"I don't..." Emil pulled at his sleeve again, then placed his hands under his thighs. "No... No, I knew we would."

"You missed dinner."

"I'm sorry."

"There is no need to apologize. If you wish to eat I can heat up some leftovers for you."

"Thanks, but... I'll be alright."

Mikkel got up from the pile of rubble, looked through the window and started moving towards the door again.

"Mikkel..."

Mikkel stopped at Emil's barely audible word and turned to the younger man again.

"What will happen to us? When we get back."

Emil did not look towards him and Mikkel went up to his side again, placed a hand on Emil's shoulder.

"We will all go back to our normal lives. Back to what we had before this expedition."

Emil nodded and Mikkel knelt infront of him, forced the other to look into his eyes.

"Are you not looking forward to it? Are you not looking forward to meeting your aunt and uncle again? Or your cousins?"

"I am", Emil said before looking away.

"And your mother and father?"

There was a slight hesitation before Emil nodded.

"I am..."

"Or your friends?"

"Yes, my..." Emil pulled at his pants and averted his eyes. "...my friends."

Mikkel sat down next to Emil again.

"Is there anything weighing on your mind?"

Emil stopped moving again and Mikkel watched him, waited. The other shook is head.

"No, just excited about getting home. Yeah."

Emil scratched his arm slightly and Mikkel let out a sigh before he once more lifted his behind from the rubble. He glanced at Emil, who forced a smile again, before grabbing his upper arm and pulling him to his feet. Emil turned to face him, confusion and fear all too visible in his eyes, and he cowered slightly under Mikkel's gaze. Mikkel tried smiling.

"Come on now, I will take a look at that wound of yours and then heat up some food for you to eat. After that I'm certain your friend would enjoy some company."

"It's nothing", Emil tried.

Mikkel noticed how the other tried to hide his arm behind his back even though it should be obvious for him that Mikkel had already seen it. Would reasoning be able to convince him? Ordering? Begging? Outlandish similes? Or maybe a threat to cut off his arm if he did not oblige? Mikkel opened his mouth to try one of them, but stopped when he felt Emil shaking slightly.

"It's nothing..." Emil repeated, barely audible and if there had been any other sound going on Mikkel would have missed it. He let go of Emil, stared at him. For once Mikkel had no words.

"OI, MIKKEL!"

Sigrun. Mikkel grimaced. Out of everything that could have happened... He glanced towards the window, glanced towards Emil and let out a sigh.

"I am in here, Sigrun", he called through the window. "I will return in a minute."

"You can't just run off like that", Sigrun's voice said from behind Mikkel and he turned around, looked at their captain. "What would we do if something happened the medic?"

"I am quite confident you would be able to make it the few days that are left until our ride will arrive to this location", Mikkel went on as he tried placing himself between Emil and Sigrun, so she wouldn't be able to see the young Cleanser. To no avail. Sigrun most likely noticed his movement and leaned to the side to see what he was hiding.

"Ey, Emil! Out looking for adventure?"

Emil forced a smile, nodded and Mikkel grabbed his arm again.

"He has had enough adventure for this evening and was just heading back to the tank for dinner, since he missed it when the rest of us dined."

He pushed Emil infront of him, quickly passed Sigrun in order to prevent her from seeing Emil's now very red sleeve. He was all too confident in Sigrun's ability to make the situation worse. Sigrun followed them back to the tank, and Mikkel could feel her gaze following him as he brought the kitchen supplies outside once more in order to heat up some food for Emil. After a couple minutes she left again, already bored at being stationary, and Mikkel let out a sigh, fetched his first aid-kit and a clean shirt before returning to Emil. Emil looked away when he approached, but Mikkel sat down infront of him, pulled up his sleeve and went to work with cleaning the wound.

Wounds, he noticed as the blood was washing off the young man's skin. Some of them were a couple of days old and mostly healed, some were new and superficial and would heal on their own in just a matter of days, but a couple of them... Mikkel pulled Emil's arm closer and grabbed a needle and some thread from the bag.

"You need some stitches for these wounds, it might hurt a little."

Emil did not react. Mikkel started stitching, ready for any sign that Emil was pulling away, but it didn't happen.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" Mikkel asked in an attempt to distract Emil, in an attempt to figure out how the other was doing. Emil shook his head. "It does not look like you are very excited about our return to the Known World. Are you worried about something?"

A slight hesitation, then Emil shook his head again and Mikkel knew he was on the right track. He finished stitching the other up and started wrapping Emil's arm in bandages.

"Is it Lalli?"

Emil gave a small smiled and shook his head. Mikkel frowned a little.

"You do realize I will keep guessing until I get it right. It would go faster if you simply told me what I want to know."

"It's nothing", Emil tried for the third time and pulled his sleeve down. Mikkel offered him the clean shirt.

"I will clean that up in the morning. Is it your family? Your father perhaps?"

Emil froze, his hand half-way to the shirt. His eyes widened , not with worry but with fear and Mikkel tried catching his eyes, tried getting Emil to focus on him again, but the other seemed to be far away. His breathing was getting faster and his hands tugged at the shirt he wore. Mikkel placed a hand on Emil's shoulder and Emil pulled away, the chair fell over and Emil landed on the ground, closed his eyes. His lips moved ever so slightly and Mikkel looked at the young Swede.

"Emil..."

Emil froze again. Mikkel knelt beside him, placed the clean shirt on his chest and waited as Emil calmed down. He knew enough to understand what was going on now. When Emil finally became aware of his surroundings again Mikkel detangled him from the chair and lifted him to his feet again. Emil quickly changed into the clean shirt, started walking towards the tank.

"Emil, please understand that you can ask the rest of us for help should you require it."

At first Mikkel doubted that Emil had understood him, because the Swede kept walking. Then he slowed down and Mikkel was almost certain he would say that it was nothing, that they needn't worry about him or something else that was an obvious lie. Emil looked at his boots.

"...thanks."

Mikkel had no idea what to answer, his mind had been to prepared for an argumentation. Emil hesitated a few seconds.

"...maybe I will."

Mikkel watched Emil's back disappear into the tank, then leaned down and picked up the discarded shirt. He looked at the bloody sleeve, clenched his hand around it and then gathered the kitchen supplies again, cleaned up the site. Sigrun returned while he was cleaning and Mikkel froze when her gaze fell on the bloody gauzes he had not yet picked up.

"Mikkel?" she asked and looked at him and he hurried to throw them into the garbage can. "What happened while I was away?"

"It was only a small accident. You do not need to worry about it, I have already taken care of it."

She stared at him, hands to her sides, and he knew that she knew that he was hiding something. The question was how badly she wanted to find out what it was. Mikkel waited. Sigrun waited. The answer was _badly_. Mikkel let out a sigh, thought about it for a moment and decided that _this time_ it would probably be a good idea to share his thoughts with his captain.

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A/N: I had so much trouble with figuring out a good enough ending for this story, I hope that ending wrapped it up enough...


End file.
